Breakfast of Champions

by Bruce

So, I woke up to make some breakfast. After killing a pig for bacon, and hassling a chicken until it laid eggs, I found no cheese in the fridge. I couldn't imagine a bacon, egg and cheese muffin without the cheese. Then I remembered! If I milked an old cow I would get some cheese, and the incredibly large farm that happens to be next to my house has the oldest living cow in all "the land". So, I snuck over to milk the cow, and all of a sudden I realized it wasn't cheese, it was sour cream. That's when the farmer noticed me, and started chasing me with a typical farmer weapon. That's right, a bazooka. I ran straight to the nearest DC metro station (the Purple line stop next to the farm), and went to Wisconsin via Africa, China, Australia, Lothlorien and the moon. I acquired some cheese, and then I headed home.

That's when I realized I had no English muffins...