A System of Pure Evil - Part 1

by Kyle

I needed my videogame fix, so I went down to my local video game vendor to plop down $40 for a game that would take my mind off my petty troubles for a few hours. As I entered the near-empty store, an older woman came up to me, seemingly from out of nowhere, and asked me for my opinion on which game system she should choose. Being the humble information philanthropist that I am, I launched into a 30-minute lecture on the various pros and cons of each of the major video game systems avialable that day. As I began to grow hoarse, I realized how rude I had been.

"So, what kind of games do you like to play?" I queried. "What do you plan to use the system for?"

"Oh, pure evil mostly..." the kindly old woman replied.

I was taken aback. "What did you say?"

"I said 'For weevil roasting,'" the now-annoyed old lady replied. "You know, in the new game, uh, Grand Theft Weevil?"

I knew of no such game, but I let it slide. Eventually the woman decided on an XBox based on my contention that it had the most powerful processor. I could have let the story end there but my curiosity was piqued. I ran out of the store just in time to see the 'old lady' speeding away in a red convertible, throwing a gray-haired wig out the back as she did. Through the cloud of exhaust fumes, I tried to make out her license plate number:

PUREVIL, the license plate read.

I knew what I had to do.

...to be continued.