Just Trying to Leave Work... When Adventure Strikes.

by Bruce

So, yesterday I tried to leave the office to head home. The day to that point was like any other normal September 29th, 2005. Nothing terribly uninteresting had happened to this point.

That's when adventure decided to call.

Collect.

With knives.

I walked out to my car, and tried to start it up, but it didn't catch.

At this point, my car's super computer turned on all 47 of its processors, and came to the only valid conclusion possible.

I was trying to steal my own car.

What a bastard that me is, to have the audacity to steal my own car. I mean, it's not like I need to steal a car. I already have a car. In the same exact spot as the one I'm trying to steal. The keys are even in the ignition, so no work needs to be done. I just have to start the car like a normal person, and everything will be ok. But no, I was going to steal my own car.

So, I did what any person would do when they were foiled at stealing their own car.

I waited 10 minutes for the computer to stop thinking I was stealing my car, then stole... I mean drove... my car away.

Until I ran out of gas down the street.